All I want for my birthday is

one day when it's acceptable for me to tweet lyrics sans punctuation in all caps.

I'M NOT ALWAYS THERE WHEN YOU CALL BUT I'M ALWAYS ON TIME

MY GIRL EATS DINNER AND YOUR GIRLS JUST EATIN SUPPER

RAP STYLES VARY AND CARRY LIKE MARIAH

OH YEAH ALL RIGHT TAKE IT EASY BABY

HE LOOKS AROUND AROUND HE SEES ANGELS IN THE ARCHITECTURE

I REALLY DONT MIND WHAT HAPPENS NOW AND THEN

WHOMIGUNNA LEAN ON WHEN TIMES GET ROUGH

DOWN TO THE WIIIIIRE

ITS YOU ITS YOU ITS ALL FOR YOU

WHEN THE RAIN WASHES YOU CLEAN YOULL KNOW

^ like that

#feelingsmatter
#godimlame

Francisco Abraham: Never-Before-Seen Footage

If your name is Sherri Dupree Beamis, the only thing you really need to know about my brother is that while his obsession with your husband is slightly unsettling, it's all well-intentioned, so there is no need for you to be overly creeped out by any possible confessions of love/ care packages/ unsolicited groupie applications he might send your way.

If you're anyone else, there are some other things you should know about Panino. For example:

- When making a pitcher of Crystal Light, he mixes in twice the recommended amount of flavor powder because otherwise "it doesn't taste like anything."

- He's played the keyboard, drumsets, guitar and the saxophone, but all he's really ever wanted to play is Melody's magic rock-flute from Pokemon 2000:

- He's the original creator of dozens of words that belong in the fuzzy area between English and Spanish (e.g. moona, burbujula, hermanatee).

I could go on, but a picture is worth a thousand HP points. I give you the never-before-seen scenes of Panino's 21 years on the planet:

Move, Bugs, get out the way.        

Advocating for animal rights since 1992!

Leading Dr. Grant and those two useless turds to safety like it ain't a thang.

Enjoy it while it lasts, guys.. It only goes downhill from here. 

When do we start stanky-legging? Oppanino Style!

Happy birthday to my favorite Pokemon master, ToonSquad champ, orca lover, raptor fighter, baseball player, tooth chipper, diary reader, hair puller, etc and so on. I only have one brother and I'm thankful every day that it's you.