- My lifelong struggle with keeping my rate of quarter-life crises at less than three per week is slowly getting better thanks to my new five-year plan, which consists of moving to Georgia so that John Mayer's songs will be about me.
- In other news, Men in Black is on TV so I'm going to go live-tweet this thing in the hopes that Amelie Gillette will notice me and ask me to be her bff. I've got the matching necklaces ready!
Is my life as epic as Charlie Sheen's? You be the judge.
