Look, I figured out Grooveshark widgets.

Now you can see all the different songs I've been listening to for the past week! ...



Don't mind me while I loop Boyce Avenue's Fast Car cover until I forget about the supermassive black hole of ambiguity that is my future.

I GOT NO PLANS I AIN'T GOING NOWHERE SO TAKE YOUR FAST CAR AND KEEP ON DRIVING AND I-IIIIIIII HAD A FEELING I COULD BE SOMEONE BE SOMEONE BE SOMEONE

November happened, and some other stuff

- I originally started writing this post like two weeks ago. It was a Friday night, mere seconds after I'd finished NaNoWriMo, which was supposed to be this really great moment and I had all these plans as to how I was going to celebrate (i.e. I bought a box of brownie mix) (like, quality brownie mix. Ghiradelli double chocolate brownie mix)..  aaaaand I got about 15 words with my Caps Lock on into this blog post before falling asleep on my sofa at 8 pm. #woooo #lastfridaynight

SO, I slept a solid 13 hours and woke up on Saturday not feeling lame at all. Maybe I felt a little bit lame, but to be honest witchu, a good night's sleep is what I've spent the last 4 years fantasizing about throughout college.

I'd wanted to write about Nanowrimo, but that train lost steam a loooong time ago. Suffice it to say, Nano'12 was a trillion times better than Nano'11, probably because I went into it this year with something vaguely sort of similar to a plot. Having something like a plot made this year's writing a lot more fun and significantly less terrible, but the terrible started to show towards the end of the month. That much is evident in this screenshot:

the not-so-glamorous writing process

Needless to say, I took a much-needed break after this really painful paragraph. It feels pretty to good to be done with the whole thing, mainly so I can spend all of my free time playing Song Pop again.

- Speaking of "literally".. I recently saw this tragic/hilarious Presidential Barbie at Toys R Us.

Barbie 2012 stands on her own. (literally)

I saw this and wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. Just kidding, the only thing I could possibly do was laugh. A lot.

- Another hilarious thing I saw:

Annakeira Knightlenina.. how Uptown Theatre says "'Anna Karenina', starring Keira Knightley."

- I took this picture during my first night back in Minnesota for Thanksgiving. I'm telling you, it was like a sign from the gods of the Midwest. "Welcome home Paulina. Have some awkward wordplay." 

Anna Karenina was a book that I really, really wanted to like. And I did like it, but it was sort of like reading The Jungle in American Studies (the real ending happens about a hundred pages before the author keeps going on about idealistic social theories). It took me like four years to actually finish it because I kept starting and stopping, but once I got to the end (IN NOVEMBER! This month was full of defining moments for me), I could safely say that I like it enough to endure 2 hours of Keira Knightley. Side note: Jude Law plays Karenin in the movie, soooo maybe he's the real reason I want to watch it on the big screen. All I want for Christmas is to live-tweet this movie, and for Jude Law to retweet everything I write. 

- I am physically incapable of talking about Keira Knightley without mentioning "Love Actually," the movie that I watch by myself every December in a locked room so that no one can hear me crying the entire time. Is this movie the worst kind of emotional pornography known to mankind? Yes. Is that going to stop me from continuing the tradition this weekend? No.

- MY BROOKHAVEN MATH FINAL WAS CANCELLED! BOOYAH! ChRiStMaS mIrAcLe! I didn't even know something like that could happen. Take note, Carleton College. 

After celebrating the fact that I never have to divide anything in different bases again, I started thinking about what finals time was like in Carleton, and most of what I could remember was:

1. not sleeping

2. not showering

3. eating Basil's pizza for a week

4. hating everyone in the library for getting up earlier than I had to find a decent desk

In conclusion..  Oppa Brookhaven Style!

- I recently found out that my phone hasn't been sending all of the texts I write, so that's inconvenient. 

- Daniel freaking Handler was on NPR the other day while Ernesto was in the car and I wasn't even there to geek out about it auuuuuuugh. Talk about pearls before swine.. he didn't even read TSOUE. Fun fact: Jude Law plays Lemony Snicket in the weird movie version of TSOUE. That and GATTACA should be enough to justify how much I like this guy.

- I really don't have that much more to say on here. I just spent an hour in the kitchen deciding whether or not I wanted to bake cookies for some staff dessert potluck tomorrow. I looked up how to tell whether baking soda is still good or not and I tested mine (no worries, our baking soda is working fine).. so yeah. That's how much I value my time. Obviously, it was all for naught because I'm sitting on my bed writing on here instead of licking cookie dough off my spoon. One day, I'll learn to make good choices. 

Lose some more respect for me

"There is nothing to blogging. All you do is sit down with your laptop and bleed." - Paulina 'Hemingway' Lopez

You'll be interested to know that my life has been in shambles for the past week, obviously for reasons related to Grey's Anatomy. I don't know why I keep watching that show.. it's like being in an abusive relationship where Shonda Rhimes repeatedly tears my chest open with a jackhammer, rips my heart out with her vicious (and probably manicured) fingernails, mashes it into a bloody pulp with the sole of her foot, and then lets me clean the mess up so I can run back to her with open arms and she can do it to me all over again.

(if you don't wanna read spoilers GTFO this post)

Like most normal people, I wanted to spend last Friday night bawling uncontrollably, so I decided to watch the Season 9 premiere of Grey's Anatomy. Had I sworn to myself that I would never watch the show again after Lexie Grey died in the dumbest, most painfully self-aware and unnecessarily mortifying episode from Season 8 (which, frankly, felt a lot like 'LOST' in blackface)? Yes.  I should have known that this was a terrible idea, given the show's track record for getting rid of all the characters I love the most, like George O'Malley. And Denny Duquette. And Henry. And Lexie freaking Grey.

So when the episode showed the love of my life, Doctor Mark Sloane, lying comatose in a hospital bed, I probably should have turned the TV off and run for my life. But, having already made a number of bad decisions, I just kept on rolling and spent the next 45 minutes on my knees in front of the screen  doing this:

To spare you yet another online recap about what happened (I've read a lot of them just to make sure it wasn't all just a terrible, heart-wrenching nightmare), Dr. Sloane died and the rest of my night went as follows:
    

                   

            

Shockingly enough, Ernesto was a lot less sympathetic IRL than Owen is being to Cristina here (but he was actually wearing scrubs). Maybe he would have been a little more compassionate if I'd limited myself to less than 60 minutes of non-stop crying after the show was over. Or maybe he's a heartless robot who is incapable of recognizing true love or the tragedy that is losing it. (xoxo luv u chico)

WHY CAN'T MEREDITH BE THE ONE THAT DIES FOR ONCE ALL SHE DOES IS BE ANNOYING AND BREAK GEORGE O'MALLEY'S PERFECTLY GOLDEN HEART AND STEAL BABIES AND WHINE ABOUT HER CHILDHOOD WHICH QUITE HONESTLY WASN'T THAT BAD IT WAS PRETTY EFFING PRIVILEGED AND HER MOM WASN'T EVEN THAT MEAN TO HER

I don't know what official stages of grief are, but here are the ones I've gone through so far:

1. Confusion, where I repeatedly asked myself "Is this real life?"
2. Flood of Emotions, where I cried like a baby for longer than I'm willing to admit, even on here
3. Denial, where I walked around saying that the episode was just wrong. It didn't happen. Nothing happened.
4. Flood of Emotions Pt. II
5. Removal, where I lied on the sofa, unwilling to move or breathe or do anything that would remind me of Dr. Sloane
6. Giving Up, where I decided that nothing in this world matters anymore and put lots of junk in my body until I felt gross
7. Flood of Emotions Pt. III
8. Trying to Find The Sliver Lining, where I think that at least this way, he and Lexie can finally be together
9. Fury, which I unleashed at a certain someone who tried reminding me about the definition of "fiction"
10. Searching for Meaning in All This Chaos, which took place on the internet and mostly resulted in more Floods of Emotion as I browsed through Tumblrs until I felt numb

So if you're wondering why I occasionally wipe a Mark Sloan-shaped tear from my cheeks, refer to the following:

Dr. Sloan, if your fictitious ghost is able to hear my tiny screams of pain into the internet, know that I'll never stop adoring you, or laughing at your inappropriate (but charming) remarks about Avery, or believing that yours is the only facial hair I could stand to look at. I can imagine your surprise when no one else seemed to care enough about your life to commemorate it properly, so I've taken a few minutes to make this and dedicate it to you.

Hurray! and so forth

WELL 36 sleepless hours, 1852 words and one visual aid later, I'm done with finals. AND WITH CARLETON COLLEGE? Apparently? It's 10:26 p.m. on June 3rd and I've been up since 10:30 a.m. June 2nd, so everything's looking p r e t t y hazy, but I can say with like ninety percent confidence that this is real life and I actually turned in my last assignment and actually went to my last final and am about to actually close the last chapter of what has been a remarkable story in a remarkable place. It's getting reaaaal sentimental up in hurr, and it doesn't help that Prof. Appleman gave the entire EDUC344 class ACTUAL CDs with "Fast Car" on them.

Obviously, I'm listening to it on repeat and trying not to drown in my own sea of tears*. (not joking) (seriously though, this song should come with a warning from the Surgeon General)

* <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 

'       '     '     '      '

'   '   '       '    '   ' 

  '   '    ' '    ' '     '

'     ' '     '     '    ' 

I made this Love Storm emoticon the other day, it just seems so relevant for this moment. The heart clouds are raining a storm of tears over everything, and well you know. Feeling a lot of feels right now. 

gunna go 2 sl33p now,

sorry for this post.

seeyuh comps

I should start out by preemptively apologizing for what I am confident will be a ranty, lame fluff post that mostly consists of stolen APPROPRIATED images, non-sequiturs and enough caps lock to feed a third world country (see what I mean? You should probably close this tab now). BUT I am running on very little sleep AND just finished all my work for the term AND just opened the following letter in the mail:

Hogwarts, you can keep your owls at home because this piece of paper has made me happier than any wax-sealed acceptance letters you could send me. In case you can't read the line inside of the appropriately placed color wheel of arrows (yeah SMart major yeah), this letter confirms that I, Paulina Lopez, AM DONE WITH MY COMPS and can now proceed to enjoy the rest of my senior year at Kawlton. COMPS refers to Carleton students' undergrad thesis, which is supposed to represent the culmination of their education blah blah blah. At some point, I thought it was an acronym for something, but maybe I made that up.. Carleton's Ominous Misery Project for Seniors. Chronic Overt Miserable Person Syndrome. Can Only Make People Sob. Chill Out Man Please Son. Don't worry, I'll submit these to the dean. 

The responsible, authorly thing to do at this point would be to show you the professional-quality pictures of my body of work and its accompanying artist statement. For now, suffice it to say that I made and wrote a bunch of things that speak to the processes of my memory. Also, I vaguely remember promising Ernesto that any artwork in my comps would be titled after Nickelback lyrics, so there's that. 

At Carleton, it's really cool for people to martyrize themselves over their comps, which (depending on the major) can consist of super long exams, group research projects, 60 page papers, so on and so forth. There's a widely accepted 'It's not comps if you're not bleeding from every pore' mentality, which gets old pretty quickly for people who aren't compsing. I definitely complained too much about comps, but I felt justified because the entire process basically dunked me face-first in alternate buckets of ice and boiling water while pumping my blood with self-doubt and squeezing out any remaining drops of optimism. I don't even know. There were a lot of moments during this term when I felt like throwing all of my comps work into the Cannon River and Cannonballing (GEDDIT) in right after it. But I should be mature and recognize that comps pushed me to develop personally meaningful work of which I am moderately proud, etc. So.. come see my exhibit in May! Or maybe don't. All I actually want you to see are the following images, which portray what it feels like to have just passed comps and be done with this entire term:

Adventures in Interviewing Myself

It is a typical February afternoon here in Northfield, MN. The floor of Paulina Lopez's studio in Boliou ( the neglected warehouse that functions as Carleton College's art building) is covered in newsprint, chalk dust, plastic curlies from her relief blocks and the Death Blanket that she made last week for Advanced Sculpture. Much like Bill Watterson's Calvin might spread his peas around his dinner plate to make it seem like he has been eating, Paulina has spent the last 8 weeks of Winter Term spreading her crap around her studio space to give the appearance of passionate art-making. Is it working? Why doesn't she just work on comps instead of writing about comps? Will she ever finish the "It" audiobook she's been listening to since last year? The answers to these questions and more are revealed in this exclusive interview.

Paulina 1: Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy schedule to meet. As I'm sure you're aware, I'm running out of ways to put off my ever-increasing mountain of homework, and this interview has just made that so much easier. 


Paulina 2: I'm happy to oblige.

P1: Let's get down to business, shall we? Tell me, how exactly does it feel to be done with the GRE?

P2: I'm so glad you asked. It feels GREat. .. I've been sitting on that one ever since I walked out of the Prometric place at Edina/Eden Prarie (what's the difference, right?) but I didn't want to say it until I got my scores back and could say with a fair level of surety that I wouldn't be retaking it soon. WHICH I WILL NOT BE DOING. BECAUSE I GOT MY SCORES TODAY AND BOY DOES PASSING BY WITH BARELY ABOVE GROUND COLORS FEEL GOOD.    ..Wouldn't you aGREe?

P1: How many more terrible GRE puns do you have?

P2: I could only think of those two. Forgive me, I was too busy recovering from all the PEMDAS review to go crazy with the wordplay this time. Sooo anyway, I'm done with the GRE. Booyah. .. I bet you're GREen with envy. (Sorry, I just thought of that one now.)

P1: Are there any other recent accomplishments you want to share?


P2: Oh man, YES. I recently found out that Carrie Underwood and Colbie Caillat are two different people. Who'da thought? (not sure whether I spelled that right) But seriously, consider my paradigm shifted. All this time, I'd been skipping over Carrie's tracks in Pandora because I thought she'd be singing about cute bubbly gingerbread dreams or whatever the actual Colbie Caillat sings about. Two weeks ago I was off my game (thank the lord) and "Before He Cheats" started playing before I saw Carrie's name on the computer screen. Have you heard that song?!

P1: Well, it came out in 2007, so.. 

P2: I know, I'm still recovering from the fact that I've gone 5ish years (yeah GRE math!) without knowing this song. It could've come in handy for all those times I wanted to ruin someone's pretty little souped up 4-wheel drive! Which add up to about zero, because Mark Irish's twenty year old Explorer wasn't pretty or souped up, and besides, the only car I've ever envisioned beating to death belonged to the Northgate Driving School during my second (and last) practice driving hour in eleventh grade and wasn't pretty, souped up, or a 4 wheel drive. It was one of those cars built with an extra set of brakes in the shotgun seat, which I'd always assumed were fake and just there to give the student driver a reassuring sense of security. Speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that the extra brakes are actually very, very functional.

 No, but I was actually really impressed with myself for knowing what a Louisville Slugger is when Carrie mentioned it in the chorus. I've gone to the Louisville Slugger museum/factory, so I think I'd know exactly how to use it on a couple of headlights. And I still owe Northgate four practice driving hours, soooooo you know.

P1: I still don't get how you could think Colbie Caillat and Carrie Underwood were the same person.. 


P2: Don't get judgy, anyone could've made the same mistake. They're both blonde. They both play guitar.. I think. Anyway, the good news isn't over yet! Because apart from discovering "Before He Cheats," I also learned that Carrie Underwood is the voice behind "Jesus Take The Wheel," which I have loved half-sarcastically, half-sincerely ever since Karen K. showed it to our seminary class in 9th grade.


P1: Any other music-related accomplishments? 


P2: Duh. Well, no. This next one isn't an accomplishment as much as it is an opinion.. but here goes. The Spanish version of Shakira's "Rabiosa" is way better than the English version with Pitbull. I KNOW, WHAT?


P1: But it has Pitbull!

P2: I knoooow but trust me, the non-Pitbull one is better. It may have something to do with the music video, which is the same for both versions and doesn't show Pitbull at all, so you're just watching Shakira flirt with this guy who is obviously not Pitbull while Pitbull is singing seductively.. it's weird. Like, bad weird, not freakyhawt weird.

P1: Tell a little bit about your position on the Carleton College Memes FB page.

P2: I was totally for this page before it existed, because I was tired of hearing crickets whenever I browsed month-old post after month-old post on r/carletoncollege. I thought, "Oh, a Facebook memes page will be so much more dynamic and colorful and fun." I had envisioned people investing as much energy into the page as they do writing incoherent, unfunny CLAP articles every Friday, only it would be even better because Facebook wouldn't have an 11 pm submission deadline OR pile up on my coffee table each week. I hadn't, however, envisioned 75% of the memes being THE SAME CONDESCENDING WONKA STOLAF JOKE. So.. back to r/carletoncollege it is. Which isn't so bad, really, because that's where this nugget of truth resides.

P1: What has been your most empowering experience in the past few weeks?

P2: You mean other than memorizing the "Before He Cheats" lyrics and singing it for two hours straight while I hammered away at advanced sculpture stuff? It's hard to get more empowering than that. Buuuuut there was that moment last Sunday afternoon during a church potluck when this 6 year-old kid named Connor maniacally piled my fruit salad onto his plate while yelling "This is my favorite thing EVERRR!" Talk about a self-confidence booster. Never mind the fact that 10 minutes later, I saw him telling a cherry pie, "Ooooh, Connor likes what he sees. Connor's gonna eat you all up." First of all, talking to food in third person shouldn't be so stigmatized. Secondly, Connor didn't say Cherry Pie was his favorite thing ever, so I'd like to think I still have that special place in his heart.


P1: This has certainly been enlightening. Any last words before checking out?

P2: You mean something that will bring inspiration, personal growth, love and/or happiness to people's everyday lives? Well, I'd like to second searchquotes.com in saying that you can't go wrong with any Young Money quotes. 16 out of the 29 inspirational Young Money quotes are all from Bed Rock, so you know that's promising. BUT if you're still skeptical, feel free to peruse this other source of inspiration/personal growth/etc. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Before I melt down and cry from the stress of finals/life..

haha oh wait, I already did that TODAY. On the way back from Econo Food carrying a ton of groceries. And then again in my apartment.The day I get to spend my life sitting at home eating blueberries and reading blogs and watching Justin Bieber's "Somebody to Love" music video will be the happiest day of my life.

Seriously, have you seen that video? I am currently watching it in the library and this kid just walked past my computer screen and gave me a LOOK. This next part is directed at you. All I want to do in life (this is not a joke. NOT a joke.) is spend every breath trying to recreate this video. There are approximately eleven dance sequences that give me major butterflies inside, including but limited to: 1) backpack dance sequence  2) impossible footwork by Usher 3) Beat Freaks dance sequence 4) the HSM-style All In This Together sequence at the end. And (approx) seven other sequences that make SYTYCD look like a hot mess. This video is the bomb.

Thoughts
1. Do you know how I'm officially a boring senior? Because I spent last Friday printing a 500 (500!!!!) page reading. On Head Start. It's actually sort of fascinating (I'm a nerd) but.. I mean it's 500 pages. It's a good thing Carleton's insane tuition covers all printing on campus. I had to tell this hurried-looking freshman she should probably use another printer because I was gonna be there a while. I was that person. Since this monster was too big for the butch heavy duty stapler (which maxes out at 60 pages), the librarian had to find me a binder clip. Call this mundane but I feel pretty freaking accomplished right about now. 500 pages! Also, there is no way I am doing grad school after this experience. You can only brag about this sort of thing once, not once a week for 5 years so...

2. More complaining about school: Is it just me, or is the author of the article on the left trying to kill all of its readers? It's 80 pages long and ALL OF IT is in yellow text with black background. It felt like one of those weird exercises where you stare at a thing and then stare at a blank wall and see Jesus or a happy face, only I kept seeing a purple wall of text about the environmental effects on IQ.

wth

3. Pros and Cons of my African-American lit class. Cons: Waste of approx ten hours per week. Pros: Get to watch the film adaptation of "Waiting to Exhale" starring Whitney Houston ("and IIIIIII"), the guy who plays Turk in Scrubs, and Adele from Grey's Anatomy. It's like the Ghosts of TV Shows Past are reminding me that I still haven't finished seasons 5- whatever.

Bad Day/Bieber

What's Justin Bieber doing on a bibliography site? I don't know. But today has been hard and randomly hearing "One Time" as I wrote in my 36th (yes) citation made it a little better. I think manna must have tasted like late-night/early-morning Bieber. 

@aniluap11

Warning: This post contains inappropriate/obnoxious use of caps lock. 

okay so long story short some jerk on twitter stole the internet handle I have been using since I was eleven years old and IT IS NOT OKAY. I've been daydreaming for weeks about all the cool hashtags I was gonna use and how fun it would be to retweet The Hater and now all those dreams have gone up in flames.

Paulina Melgoza Hdz has tweeted exactly ONE time in the last year, she has ZERO followers and is only following SIX other tweeters (five of whom are famous celebrities, and one is the Morelia Film Festival).

It's been like 10 years since I've had to come up with a new username for something. I'm so upset I can't even communicate how upset I am in more than 140 characters. I don't even want a twitter anymore.

I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY ERNESTO MANUEL LLANO

#fffuuu #thatsnotyourname #actuallyistillwantatwitter

There is very little

to like about Bruno Mars. There is even less to like about Bruno Mars dueting with Eminem, where the latter can't decide which beat he's rapping to and rhymes 'king' with 'king'. There isn't an official music video for this gem yet, but I've made up a storyboard for my idea of how it might go.

Dear Jason Derulo

"Things become fashionable in 20 year cycles. So watch out, because the 90s are coming up, and nothing looked good in the 90s." - my art history professor.

20ish years after my mom and dad were wearing bell-bottoms, I was wearing bell-bottoms. And now, 20ish years after the 80s leg warmers and skinny jeans were cool, I'm wearing those. This recycling of fashions is acceptable because I wasn't alive to see the original hippie bellbottoms or original Flashdance stuff in its heyday. But you can't bring back everything. It would NOT be acceptable to wear a bib or a pacifier just because I had used those 20 years ago. That makes sense, right?

Likewise, it is NOT acceptable for Jason Derulo to bring back a Raffi song. It is NOT okay for people to be grinding to a song that we were all singing when we were 6.

Let's examine some of the differences:

At this point, Jason Derulo just comes off as annoying and sort of sad, like a really bad American Idol audition where you know Simon Cowell (or J. Lo, apparently) is going to tear the poor guy apart. But THEN:

Jason Derulo, You might've gotten away with ruining Hide and Seek, but that's only because everyone and their mother (by which I mean Andy Samberg and, more importantly, Shia LaBeof) ruined Hide and Seek (thanks to The. O.C.) * You're not allowed to turn the stacks of bananas into a bunch of shots, and you're not allowed to turn Mr. Tally Man into your sexy Haitian girl. Just wait until I mature a little more and stop listening to Top 40 radio stations. Alternatively, since I will probably never stop listening to Top 40, you and Lupe Fiasco could stop ruining good songs.

* On a side note, SNL had no business making fun the most emotionally charged episode of the The O.C.'s second season. Marisa shoots Trey which leads to her getting arrested which leads to her getting expelled which leads her to break up with Ryan for the 234th time which eventually leads to her DEATH. Which leads to the demise of the entire show, which leads to me not having anything to watch on late nights. :(

Things I Will Do Over Winter Break

1. Watch The O.C.

Ready set GO! Californiaaaaaaa, here we cooooooome.

Hi, my name is Mainstream.

On the first day of our computer class in 7th grade, the teacher thought it would be fun for everyone in the room to introduce ourselves by saying our names and our favorite musician. Which was great for 26 of the 27 people in the class, because it quickly became apparent that most people had similar tastes in music:

"I'm Heather Martinson, and I like Jay Z."

"I'm Jade Williams, and I like Jay Z."

"I'm Tater, I like Jay Z."

Which eventually turned into,

"Tyler Brody, Jay Z."

"Zac, Jay Z."

"Nicole, Jay Z."

So it was really fun to have no idea who all these people were talking about, and say, "I'm Paulina, I like Michelle Branch." Who the heck was Jayzee? Did these people even listen to KROC? Because I did, and I'm pretty sure that "The Game of Love" and "Everywhere" were played at least 50 times a day. And if anyone was having a rough love life, didn't they all listen to "All You Wanted"?

Apparently not.

Fortunately, my college education is filling the gaping holes left behind from my time in public school. Seven years after I first heard of this so called Jay Z, I auditioned for what I thought was a hip hop dance company. It turned out to be a misnomer for Carleton's Jay-Z Appreciation Society.

New Life Goal: Pay someone in Olin to build a time machine, go back to the first day of 7th grade, and when it gets to be my turn to introduce myself, say:

"I'm Paulina. I know you all think Jay Z's current stuff is great, but it pales in comparison to his songs in near future. "On to the Next One" will be overplayed just because everyone will make a big deal about all the Satanic stuff going on in his video, but "Empire State" won't be played enough. And yeah, it's kind of cheap that he thinks he can just reword the title of "Young Forever" and get away with the first verse of the original song, but in my opinion, his verse in "Swagger Like Us" is punny enough for me to let him get away with it. And "Run This Town" just gives me chills, but that's partly because Rihanna is so good at making my life feel dramatic. But since I'm not popular enough to like him right now, I'm gonna keep listening to my soft pop for a while longer, because it doesn't swear as much, so my mom won't get mad when I sing along."

In other music-related news:

- Somebody Still Loves You, Boris blablaweirdlastname is coming to Carleton, which means that I'll go see them, sing along to the four songs that somehow got into my iTunes library, and leave before the concert gets too obscure and indie.

-Stop making fun of Justin Bieber. He is a successful single mom's kid from Canada who has an obnoxious haircut (but who doesn't these days?) and who melts people's hearts when he sings about love. LOVE. It's not supposed to be deep, just let the catchy take you away and sing along.

-Reason #abillion why I like Ernesto: He is taking me to see Fun! Because Rodrigo and Gabriela cancelled their show. So.. "Awwww," and "Yay!"

Postcard

I've lost count of how many days I've been blazing trails all over the foreign wilderness known as Canada, which is best known for its major contributions to civilization (listed in level of importance): Celine Dion, Degrassi and Justin Bieber.

The million-dollar question is when I'm moving here. Canada has everything someone could dream of having. Their national symbol is a lot easier to draw Uncle Sam or a US flag or a portrait of Snooki. They have a drumline perform EVERY MORNING in front of the Parliament building. They offer overpriced liberal arts educations for students who want useless majors. They have MacDonalds. They speak English and French, so moving to Canada is instant class (but it's not like they can get away with acting superior to you when your French accent is miserable because France doesn't like them anyways).

Canada is almost my dream come true. If it weren't for the fact that not one single restaurant I've been to offers lemonade (none at all! not even regular lemonade, because I understand that pink lemonade is a commodity no matter where you are. But not even regular lemonade!), otherwise known as the sweet nectar of life, I'd be looking for a cardboard box to call home right now.

It's Almost The End of Summer And I Still Haven't

- finished LOST. alksjdflkasjdflkjsadlfksdjfl

Hm, I thought this list would be a lot longer.

Horrible Things I Should Not Like

1. "California Gurls"

2. Lil' Wayne

3. Jersey Shore

4. Chick-lit, in the form of Meg Cabot books and recently, Bridget Jones' Diary

5. The final verse of "Love Story".

List TBC.

Also, Some Important Things That Have Happened As Of Late:

Was recently informed (by Francisco, who couldn't stop laughing) that Adam Lambert and Pete Wentz are two different people. Was relieved. Had been mortified that the hottest member of Fall Out Boy was gay and therefore unable to find me attractive. All is well.

Saw Doug Lee at Rochesterfest. Had not seen him nor been to Rochesterfest since 11th grade. Kind of an overwhelming night.

Was driving back from Nfield when heard this song. Thought it was stupid. Heard it about three more times. By the fourth time, had fallen in love with it. For some reason, makes me reminiscent of tenth grade.

Survived Boundary Waters. Half of right pinky toe nail mysteriously disappeared.

And Ernesto broke up with his colon. FB official.

The Devil Wears Fruit of the Loom

So one minute I'm just me, halfway done with my dead-end liberal arts career, wearing things like size 3 jeans and clearance rack shirts. Embarrassing, I know. But the next minute I'm waiting in the elevator of the Rochester Art Center, hearing the floompers walking around the ground floor (I call them floompers because that's the sound their crocs make when they're walking around in their Crocs all over the place, floomp floomp floomp...).

I know what you're thinking. That being an unpaid intern working for the Art Center's public program's director is going to change me. That my new Crocs-clad boss is going to shove a claw down my throat, pull out my soul, feed it to her 18-month old baby, then turn me into a snobby art slave. That she'll convince me that the most important thing in life is to trample over all the little people in order to come out on top. That she'll make me risk my very life just to get her a DVD of the unreleased final Harry Potter movie. That she'll get me to wear things that belong on 3-year olds.

But never fear. I promise that I am at least a little bit stronger than anyone Anne Hathaway has ever portrayed (except maybe Mia Thermopolis).

Thoughts

People Who Make Me Most Happy:

- John Mayer

- Justin Timberlake

Books I Want to Finish This Summer:

-Cohen!

-Paula

-Anna Karenina

-Ignorance

How I Feel Right Now:

- Indecisive

- Disappointed

- Sleepy

How My Room Looks Right Now:

- like tornado season

Things I Want To Do With My Feet:

-wiggle them to music

-feel the SWOOOOSH wind on a swing

-conduct a Fantasia song

Things I Want To Do Today

-nothing

Reasons Why I Like KROC:

- Carry Out

- OMG

- Toxic

People I Hugged At Graduation Last Night:

-Michael Mossaad

-Jeremy Goerss

People I Really Wanted to Hug At Graduation Last Night, But Couldn't Find:

-Jeffrey Tanner

Song of the Day:

-Dreams, Fleetwood Mac

Best Part of the Opening World Cup Game:

-when South Africa did their little dance after the first goal

Movies I'm In The Mood For:

- You've Got Mail

- Monty Python & the HG

- The Devil Wears Prada

Villains I Root For:

- Sue Silvester

- Angelica

- Helga

Hottest Guys On Lost, Season 4 (who are still alive)

1. Sawyer

2. Keamey

3. Desmond

4. Sayid

Hottest Guy On Lost, Ever

1. Boone

You probably don't want to read this post

because I've felt it coming for a while and I can still it's just a big long string of nothing. Like, doing-everything-except-homework-while-listening-to-Juan-Mayer-and-talking-about-myself nothing. It also has too much caps.

THINGS I WANT TO SHOUT REAL LOUD-LIKE:

1. hey YOU: your email made me mad today mainly because it was mean. thanks for ruining what was going to be a non-significant, results-less psychology study. now I can study my own aggression.

Paulina Lopez
Hostile Aggression (she would really like to hit this person)
Relational Aggression (she would really like to say things like "you big fatso, no one could ever love you" to this person)
Frustration-Aggression (she is upset at this person for interfering with her goal of getting an okay grade in her psyc lab)

2. hey YOU: for some strange reason, the aforementioned survey has somehow gotten 415 responses. so you disabled it because the limit is 350. so now I have to pay to get my data. but of course i'm not going to do that, so i'm going to fail this assignment and fail this class and LAKJDLKDJFL. more like qualtrics.con*

*see what I did?
I replaced m with an n
so now it is con instead of com
and it means that qualtrics cheats and steals from people.

THINGS I REALLY REALLY LIKE

1. That being said.. can I just say that I really really liked Mr. Brain Wash throughout the entirety of Banksy's (Bansky)'s movie? Because I did. I thought he was brilliant. When he spilled paint all over his car and when he kept hitting his camera with walls as he walked down the street and when he made Park Amusement into Art Amusement and when he replaced Elvis's guitar with a Fisher Price gun and when he was... when he was... when he was... when he was... when he is... when he is ... what he represents... he is... he is...

I really liked him.

And I really liked the movie. A lot.

Should YOU Watch Exit Through The Gift Shop? Luckily for you, I've designed a sophisticated flowchart that will help you make an informed decision. Answer the question and follow the arrows that go with your answer!

2. Imma be making some posters next yurr. For monaaaaay. With Campus Activities (soon to be known as Student Activities! only not really, because everyone will still call it Campus Actvities). Eee!

And over the SUMMAH:

1. I will NOT be wearing red and khaki because I will NOT be clocking in to work at Rochester North SuperTarget Lanes or Guest Services or 1-Hr PhotoLab.

1 1/2. I WILL see how long it takes for Target to realize that I'm still using my 10% off.

2. I WILL be reading about the history of Mexican printmaking and making prints in a not-crowded studio and getting paid for it. I am so excited. I haven't had a chance to write about this very much, but I am SO SO SO SO EXCITED FOR THIS. Because maybe it will be the only time that anyone pays me to do something that is too fun to be considered work. DEAR ART YOU ARE THE BEST JOB I HAVE EVER HAD.

3. I'm doing an internship? With the Rochester Art Center? Which means I'm kind of an adult?

Okay. Enough.

Life is alright right now.

Listen:

Procrastination (((((SPOILER))))))

is spelled

"P-A-U-L-I-N-A"

and the worst part is that I'm on spring break. Spring BREAK.

Alright, let's get to it:

Words I Don't Understand

1. swagger (swagga)

Forgive my monumental uncoolness, but what does this mean? I just realized, maybe 24 hours ago, that I've said this word about sixteen thousand times, mainly because I've sung along to Tik Tok about sixteen thousand times (and loved every single bit of it). Other people who've gotten me saying it: Lil Wayne, Chris Brown, Fergie and da Peez, Mia (who, I recently learned, is actually spelled M.I.A. with periods in the middle (*see P!nk post)), and half of the people I hear on Pandora.

And I know what you're thinking! That this is just like that time in 7th grade when I didn't know what "boo" meant! And how it took me four years, four painful, meaningless years, to finally figure it out, thanks to Usher and Alicia Keys! But this time, I refuse to let four years pass by before I understand swagger.

Let's go about this strategically using the tried and true THIENTIFIC METHOD! (Since it's what I'm supposed to be doing for Andrew May Mellon's generous research fellowship application!

1. Question: Whats swagger?

2. Background Info:

• Paper Planes: "no one on the corner has swagga like us, something something prepaid wireless"
• Boom Boom Pow: "Them chickens jackin my style, they try to copy my swagger"
• Tik Tok: "the dudes are lining up cause they hear we got swagger"
• Transform ya: "Swag low, I build you up, knees weak I stand you up"

3. Hypothesis:

Swagger is the mtv version of 'tumbao', as in 'la negra tiene tumbao'. Swagger is a limp that people walk with which actually makes them cooler.

Rationale:

walk + stagger = swagger

4. Experiment:

Wiki "swagger"

5. Results:

• Jake Hager a wrestler known as Jack Swagger
• Bob Lee Swagger, a fictional character created by Stephen Hunter
• Swagger stick, a riding crop carried by a uniformed person as a symbol of authority
• Swagger (Flogging Molly album)
• Swagger (Gun album)

(none of which look promising)

4.2. Experiment:

Google "swagger definition"

5.2. Results:

This blog.

"Be confident in who you are, because at the end of the day, that's all you are. You.

That's what swagger is, at least how I see it. All of these people walkin around think they have swagger because they're cocky and have money, but how many of these images are the real person? The word has lost it's meaning..."

6. Conclusion:

Today was the first day that Wikipedia failed me. Thank you, Swagger J, for healing the throbbing wound of my ignorance. Although I'm kind of upset that it's not walk+stagger..

I've got this research thing in the bag. Let's get this proposal did.

Existentialist Meltdown.

UM HELLO?
Why can't I stop freaking out about my printmaking assignment?
Why can't I stop freaking out about choosing my major?
Why am I so self-involved?
Why does everyone love Catcher in the Rye?
Should I shower tonight?
Will I shower tonight?
If I shower tonight, when's the most likely time I'll shower next?
What happens to all the erasers I keep buying? WHERE DO YOU ALL GO?

some words that summarize my life as of late:
Chris Brown
Jay Z
REC center
Boliou
Printmaking
Printmaking
Printmaking
ink
ink
ink
essay
the urge to put Sam's face to a cheese grater and sprinkle the shavings into his coffee and pour it all over his stupidlooking hat I DON'T LIKE YOU AT ALL
Valentine's Day, starring all of Hollywood
Percy Jackson movie
freakout
Imma be
hey girl hey girl hey girl hey girl
typical guido
summah
fronting
creeping
Boy Meets World.

showah time