Tuesday's Coming, My Baby

1. TIL that there is such a word as twitterature, which is used to describe my generation's persistent need for constant self-affirmation, defining, declaration, and the overall desire to be watched. It's fun to talk about how dumb Twitter is because EVERYONE hates Twitter (see Fig. 1).

2. Concerning Fig.1. Can we find new things to hate? Because these are getting kind of old. Behold my flawless argument:

- iPad: who cares?

- Taylor Swift: the miracle of true love isn't her fault, so let her sing about it. Also, I'm kind of getting married.. how can I NOT love T-Swift?

- Twitter: yeaaaaaaah it's lame but how else will Justin Timberlake personally wish me a Happy Halloween?

- Hipsters: actually we can keep complaining about hipsters

3. Now I'm gonna be a hipster and tell you what music to listen to because I'm full of feelings and I want you to know it. So.. hey you! Listen to Dareh Meyod with me and think about how much you miss high school. Or how much you don't miss it, I guess.

4. Halloween is over. :(

5. School isn't that much fun anymore. Which is why I'm on here instead of writing an essay about Romanesque and Gothic architecture.

6. I really like painting. I hate stretching the canvas. Stretching the canvas sucks. Stretching the canvas is like eating a bowl of Trix that's been sitting in the milk for way too long and now all the pieces are soggy and gross. Stretching the canvas is like trying to hold my breath under a vat of boiling pus juice. AAAUUUUGHHHH.

How To Write A Paper About Ethnicity

1. Have no idea what your thesis is
2. Open Word anyway
3. Lie about the date so your professors don't hate you for waiting until 24 hours before the deadline to start their assignment
4. Think about what to write.
5. Check the expiration on your bread. You can't do well in school of you die of food poisoning.
6. Think about what to write.
7. Listen to Pandora for inspiration
8. Research Michael Jackson's life, as it is relevant to ethnicity because he deliberately broke the barriers between race!
9. Learn Michael Jackson had a skin disease that made him white.
10. Delete lengthy paragraph about MJ's contributions to social construction of ethnicity from Word document.
11. Delete "Black or White" from works cited
12. Be determined to finish this essay in an efficient, intellectual manner. Stridently open Google to find legitimate sources that will support your thesis, which you'll figure out later.
13. Accidentally type "oogle.com"
14. Relish in simultaneous horror and amusement.


"Ashley Madison: Life is short. Have an affair."

Things I learned while writing a paper about ethnicity:
- 7,330,000 people are using a hilarious online cheating website that guarantees an affair to remember, or your money back!

Hi, my name is Mainstream.

On the first day of our computer class in 7th grade, the teacher thought it would be fun for everyone in the room to introduce ourselves by saying our names and our favorite musician. Which was great for 26 of the 27 people in the class, because it quickly became apparent that most people had similar tastes in music:

"I'm Heather Martinson, and I like Jay Z."

"I'm Jade Williams, and I like Jay Z."

"I'm Tater, I like Jay Z."

Which eventually turned into,

"Tyler Brody, Jay Z."

"Zac, Jay Z."

"Nicole, Jay Z."

So it was really fun to have no idea who all these people were talking about, and say, "I'm Paulina, I like Michelle Branch." Who the heck was Jayzee? Did these people even listen to KROC? Because I did, and I'm pretty sure that "The Game of Love" and "Everywhere" were played at least 50 times a day. And if anyone was having a rough love life, didn't they all listen to "All You Wanted"?

Apparently not.

Fortunately, my college education is filling the gaping holes left behind from my time in public school. Seven years after I first heard of this so called Jay Z, I auditioned for what I thought was a hip hop dance company. It turned out to be a misnomer for Carleton's Jay-Z Appreciation Society.

New Life Goal: Pay someone in Olin to build a time machine, go back to the first day of 7th grade, and when it gets to be my turn to introduce myself, say:

"I'm Paulina. I know you all think Jay Z's current stuff is great, but it pales in comparison to his songs in near future. "On to the Next One" will be overplayed just because everyone will make a big deal about all the Satanic stuff going on in his video, but "Empire State" won't be played enough. And yeah, it's kind of cheap that he thinks he can just reword the title of "Young Forever" and get away with the first verse of the original song, but in my opinion, his verse in "Swagger Like Us" is punny enough for me to let him get away with it. And "Run This Town" just gives me chills, but that's partly because Rihanna is so good at making my life feel dramatic. But since I'm not popular enough to like him right now, I'm gonna keep listening to my soft pop for a while longer, because it doesn't swear as much, so my mom won't get mad when I sing along."

In other music-related news:

- Somebody Still Loves You, Boris blablaweirdlastname is coming to Carleton, which means that I'll go see them, sing along to the four songs that somehow got into my iTunes library, and leave before the concert gets too obscure and indie.

-Stop making fun of Justin Bieber. He is a successful single mom's kid from Canada who has an obnoxious haircut (but who doesn't these days?) and who melts people's hearts when he sings about love. LOVE. It's not supposed to be deep, just let the catchy take you away and sing along.

-Reason #abillion why I like Ernesto: He is taking me to see Fun! Because Rodrigo and Gabriela cancelled their show. So.. "Awwww," and "Yay!"