Dear Jason Derulo

"Things become fashionable in 20 year cycles. So watch out, because the 90s are coming up, and nothing looked good in the 90s." - my art history professor.

20ish years after my mom and dad were wearing bell-bottoms, I was wearing bell-bottoms. And now, 20ish years after the 80s leg warmers and skinny jeans were cool, I'm wearing those. This recycling of fashions is acceptable because I wasn't alive to see the original hippie bellbottoms or original Flashdance stuff in its heyday. But you can't bring back everything. It would NOT be acceptable to wear a bib or a pacifier just because I had used those 20 years ago. That makes sense, right?

Likewise, it is NOT acceptable for Jason Derulo to bring back a Raffi song. It is NOT okay for people to be grinding to a song that we were all singing when we were 6.

Let's examine some of the differences:

At this point, Jason Derulo just comes off as annoying and sort of sad, like a really bad American Idol audition where you know Simon Cowell (or J. Lo, apparently) is going to tear the poor guy apart. But THEN:

Jason Derulo, You might've gotten away with ruining Hide and Seek, but that's only because everyone and their mother (by which I mean Andy Samberg and, more importantly, Shia LaBeof) ruined Hide and Seek (thanks to The. O.C.) * You're not allowed to turn the stacks of bananas into a bunch of shots, and you're not allowed to turn Mr. Tally Man into your sexy Haitian girl. Just wait until I mature a little more and stop listening to Top 40 radio stations. Alternatively, since I will probably never stop listening to Top 40, you and Lupe Fiasco could stop ruining good songs.

* On a side note, SNL had no business making fun the most emotionally charged episode of the The O.C.'s second season. Marisa shoots Trey which leads to her getting arrested which leads to her getting expelled which leads her to break up with Ryan for the 234th time which eventually leads to her DEATH. Which leads to the demise of the entire show, which leads to me not having anything to watch on late nights. :(