Across this woman's stand was a booth filled with incense and candles that church-going people could burn for specific saints, or for the occasional miracle. There was
- the candle that could cure impotency
- the candle that could turn back time
- the candle that could heal the sick
- the candle that could turn smelly feet odorless
- the candle that could turn naughty children into angels
- the candle that could make the lover who broke your heart come back on his knees begging for your forgiveness
- the candle that kept bitter ancestors out of your house
- the candle that stretched money out so that people could make ends meet
- the candle that helped vocalists with no talent sing in tune
- the candle that helped people read faster
- the candle that made a specific person miss you so much their bones ached
- the candle that could burn away all the sins you'd ever committed
- the candle that could burn away all the sins you were considering committing in the next year
- the candle that guaranteed a lasting marriage
- the candle that soothed coughs, sore throats, stomachaches and fevers
- the candle that induced coughs, sore throats, stomachaches and fevers
- the candle that made you into a better poet
- the candle that ensured anything cooked in your kitchen would never burn again
- the candle that incrementally cured diabetes long enough for you to have just one bite of that delicious chocolate donut
- the candle that made arthritis go away
- the candle that erased memories
- the candle that helped you find lost items
- the candle that made you lose weight
- the candle that engorged your breasts
- the candle that scared away monsters under the bed and ghosts in the closet
- the candle that made it so you were always on time
- the candle that helped you stop the disgusting habit of biting your nails
- the candle to keep unwanted missionaries away from your doorstep
- the candle that cured alcoholism
- the candle that got you drunk
- the candle that protected houses from bandits and criminals
- the candle that ended world hunger
- the candle that kept away nosy neighbors
- the candle that made lonely people feel a little less alone
- the candle that made everyone in the room fuzzy to the point of near invisibility so that you could be alone if you wanted
- the candle that helped people find the silver lining on the darkest, coal-black thunder clouds
- the candle that restored faith when faith was needed
- the candle that soothed people in moments of resignation
- the candle that provided shots of extra energy
- the candle that helped lost dogs find their way back home
- the candle that helped people remember birthdays and anniversaries and supposedly important dates like those
- the candle that improved people's driving abilities
- the candle that reduced blood pressure
- the candle that inspired burnt-out lovers to squeeze out one last sonnet before deciding that they are bored with romance
- the candle that could help people forgive the unforgivable
- the candle that kept ants and cockroaches out of the pantry
- the candle that erased fingerprints and smudges from clear glass windows
- the candle that made people run faster
- the candle that helped people sleep sounder
- the candle that could cure snoring
- the candle that could induce nightmares in people who had grown accustomed to too many sweet dreams
- the candle for people who are afraid of the dark
- the candle for people who are afraid of heights
- the candle for people who are afraid of people
- the candle that could make limp celery crunchy again
- the candle that could make lightbulbs glow brighter
- the candle that helped people make difficult decisions
- the candle that increased gamblers' chances at winning
- the candle that allowed people to read other people's minds
- the candle that made everyone agree with you
- the candle that kept it from raining
- the candle that helped your rose bushes grow
- the candle that perpetually blessed the food on your table so that you wouldn't have to say grace at every meal
- the candle that eased pangs of hunger pain
- the candle that helped people speak a foreign language
- the candle that deciphered the Book of Isaiah
- the candle whose flames foretold the future with shadows on the wall
- the candle that took back all of the hurtful things you said to the few people you cared about the most
- the candle for aching backs
- the candle for Christmases when there might not be enough presents
